The Bliss of Ms. Blossom

John Mayer and I are not especially close friends. I casually accepted him in high school and would listen to him on the radio driving to and from school. Those days of my affection for him are long-gone.

I think he's a dick. I don't think he necessarily means to be one, but I really don't like his lyrics, and I find ideas that seem fundamentally opposed to my own in them. And not in the "wow, he's really opening my eyes" way, but in the "I will never be able to enjoy this song again" way.

Take for example, Daughters:

* * * * * * * * * *
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made,

[chorus]

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

[chorus]
* * * * * * * * * *

Ignoring the fact that this girl might just not like him (understandably) and this whole song is a rationalization of his rejection, there are still several problems. It paints women as fragile creatures depending on the men (and their mothers, to a lesser extent) in their lives for happiness. And boys? Well, "boys, you can break / you'll find out how much they can take / boys will be strong / and boys soldier on." And each boy will grow up to be the man who is "the god and the weight of her world." I mean, holy shit, wow. I hate you, John Mayer. And it's not because my father didn't love me, but because I refuse to be patronized by your sappy lyrics that play to a female's sense of insecurity and a male's machismo.

On to his newest release (well, at least the most recent song of his I've heard), Waiting on the World to Change. To give the entire lyrics here is, in this case, unnecessary. He basically just crones his "waiting on the world to change" mantra throughout the whole song. He claims that the young generation is misunderstood and portrayed as standing for nothing, and that the television lies to you. Media definitely warps information, and I agree that our world needs help. I'm not really sure what John is saying beyond that, though (I guess he is misunderstood). He says that one day "our generation is going to rule the population"... and then? Oh, right. "We keep waiting (waiting!) on the world to change." John acknowledges problems, then suggests that everyone wait until we grow up. Fantastic Fucking Idea, John. That fits the definition of standing for nothing, John. I'm so glad that you can cleverly disguise inaction as a form of social revolution, John.

Until you and I work through our issues, and you stop being an asshole, I will never buy your music, John Mayer. And I hope no one else does, and then your trendiness can die alongside your feeble ideas.